LIFE AFTER DIVORCE

When a married woman becomes a single woman because her husband has passed away, there is usually help from the neighbours and friends. Physical help such as household repairs or mowing the lawn. Psychological or emotional support such as calling on her to see if eveything is fine.

When a married woman becomes a single woman as a result of a divorce, life may not be the same. The neighbours start to shun away from the divorcee for fear that she might be an "available woman" to their husbands and a risk to their own family.

Life after divorce can therefore be very difficult.

Divorce can make a woman feel as if she no longer exists. Women friends that used to call her stop calling her, her children are no longer invited or welcome to play sports with other kids in the neighbourhood. It is as if a divorce virus has struck town.

Notwithstanding, life has to go on after divorce, no matter the difficulty, be it physical, economical, psychological or emotional.

Life after divorce still mean the kids have to be fed and clothed. Family house chores still have to be done, now by one instead of two.

Life after divorce may often mean income is reduced. This financial set back may require the divorcee to now have two jobs, one inside and one outside the home.

The inside life may not change much. Inside life may be a relief by having one less body to take care of. Or the inside life may be an added burden with one fewer body to assist with house chores.

On the social side, life after divorce will likely change dramatically. As the woman divorcee lost most if not all her previous friends, she now will seek the companionship of other women divorcees. They have similar emotional and financial problems and they are more likely to understand one another. They will be prone to help each other to overcome difficulties in their life after divorce.

Sometimes as a result of the reduction in income, women divorcees are forced to seek Government help in welfare or mother's allowance. But then Government will tell you to give up your car or phone or other things that are essential to you but the Government considers as luxuries.

Sometimes life after divorce means that the divorcees cannot send the kids on school trips or buy clothes that the kids need in order to fit in with other kids. When the kids come home crying, you cry too but you hide the tears away from them.

But life after divorce can also mean relief and freedom. Freedom to do whatever you want, at whatever time you want. You can now go to that late night movie or see that friend that you had kept postponing forever.

Life goes on. The divorcee will finally adjust to the day to day routine of life after divorce. Her heartaches will cease, she becomes happier, she may even want to consider dating another man.

Life after divorce still means the bills have to be paid, the kids have to be fed and clothed. But yet she may find her life is full and complete. Her life may turn to be one of love for the kids and for herself. Her life may move forward happily with a good job at hand. Perhaps she may even have enrolled herself to night school to improve her skills and her career.